white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
