Non-Jews are for practice
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize