Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Every concussion has its silver lining
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
