I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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