glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
