ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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