you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
