3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
