She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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