pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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