and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I love you. Go after that dick
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize