I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize