Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize