If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
