Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
