We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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