YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
