do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
