I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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