3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I understand Curling. That high.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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