Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
