put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
