Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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