just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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