In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
