saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
