I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
