Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
