What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
