After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
high people should be assigned attendants
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm at about main and main street
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
