You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
