she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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