I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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