oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
