brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
