Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
