Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well I just put wine in my tea
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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