Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
