About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
