They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
