What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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