That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
