I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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