Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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