Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
