Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
