What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
