Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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