did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
