I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
