Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
