i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
