i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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