We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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