i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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