it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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