I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
