My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
