So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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