is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
